i am always better than alright

i dont have nightmares and when i does i am either laughing or cried laughing. i used to live a light life not burdened with too much worrying of unknown fears. i live life the way i wanted it. happy, funny, bubbly awesome life my family and all of my bloodline had given me. i used to thank god for giving life like this. now another milestone is on me. a new life to live with, a new day to create a beautiful memory. my year was damn great! it was a year full of fun with awesome movies and travelling. it was a year i decided to create a new me. it was the year i have learned what true love means and it was a year full of hope, full of kindness full of patience and a year that somehow test my sanity and a year that is full of earthly goodbyes and tears. the days pass by too much quickly and here i am again telling you things good things crazy things i've been through the last year.

i didnt waste anytime but i used to wonder sometimes. i love doing nothing and i know its crazy but i find it too cool to work online than work physically. things arent always the same but i thank god for giving me the will and a life to enjoy.


i spent my september days doing photoshot and photoshop and reunions with old crazy pals from my previous works while my wisdom tooth is killing me. i had a nice trip to the orthodontics had my teeth xray and got them extracted out on me. the stitches pained me to death and hadnt move for two days after that. the month long festival in our place gives me enough time to write more blogs and i was happy to know that i reached twenty thousand readers. 

i get to meet pam one of my big sister from another family and all the ACCORD staff who visited our place for the bahaginan programs of the European Commission. It was fun to be with them again over the little time but the love i have feel while being with them is enough to say that they truly love me despite of being too annoying at times. 

dudoi went home from his mission in arizona and we happened to bump along with him at the procession. lao and i are pretty much happy to met our handsome big brother.

i finally meet ate joie in october for real. she loves surprise visit and shes gorgeous and so cool and most of all she loves mommy and daddy too. and me and lao of course! ate joie is one of the best thing since peanut butter for me because she doesnt get mad no matter how annoying i was all the time. her patience is unlimited that even my brother like her more.

i had a quick trip to the islands of caramoan in november. i hadnt got the chance to celebrate lao and dudoi's birthday since i dont have all the access for weeks. busy as it seems but somehow i get to enjoy the company of all the environmental practitioners from all over the philippines. 

i always wish that the days be done so i could go home and be with my family. im afraid of the chirping geckos at night because we stay alone in our cabanas. 

and sometimes we stay at the training center to finish all the writeshop assigned to us as late as 22:45 and there are a lot of fireflies and crickets and unknown creatures at the venue. 

totally november is a mixed of happy and sad days for the numbers of our loved ones in heaven is growing and its sad to let them go but realizing that one day we are all going to heaven the mourning turns into celebration of new life. ninong awel went to heaven that month and i thank him for all the love he had given me while i was growing up.

Then it's not that easy to be good for the last 361 days of 2014. i grow up knowing that santa clause is real and im sticking into that! December gave us a lot of great opportunities and lots of cash and goodies.

december is hug and kisses time and a chance to meet everyone in our family but much of that are the goodies our relatives brought back home to us. this is also the time of giving and the time to relax and enjoy long winter rainy break. 

this year i was able to write again in pen and paper im so glad i was able to write down all my life's whirlwind of emotions and all its forms and the best things that happened to me through out the year. last christmas i think we have all the love in the world for before the year ends ate joie visit us with all the goodies and we love the cakes.

although lola kikay went to heaven that week we still celebrate a good old tradition of getting along together with parties, goodies and games. as we wave our final goodbye to lola kikay we were able to smile and move on with our lives and close the chapter of pain that unfaithful partings had given us. new year gives us hope that everyone in our bloodline get to enjoy the things the lord god has given us. and the thoughts that family doesnt means you belong in one bloodline. and were all glad that we are still healthy and happy the whole year.

going back to reality after a long break january pinned us down to paperworks, trainings, travels, schools and writeshop. but even so no matter how busy the day it may seem we are glad to make it through the day as happy as always.  we celebrate more before the month ends because lao finally passed his nursing board and were so happy for him.lao and i had to rush things for mom celebrated her 60th birthday last February. all went well on her birthday. suprises has been made and the party is awesome. some of mom's closets friends celebrate with her and that of our relatives and neighbors. being mom second born turned firstborn it is in my hand the responsibility i must stand in our family. and my whole bloodline told me how tough but i stand firm for the last six years.i love that she turn sixty and it doesnt matter if shes of age what matter is that she is always there for me and lao. i love that even for a short notice some of her siblings come home and celebrate with us. february is more of cousin time and bloodline time. it so nice to eat and laugh with them and truly the length of years we havent seen each other give us more ways to love and respect everyone and we've come to realized that having cousins with the same mental disorder is indeed priceless. the first week of march isnt favorable for us. tito ramon our boss went home to heaven just like that. living us in awe of what to do and how do we start we ended the first week grieving.the long weekend of march had given me a chance to visit the sea and our summer started. we do love to swim ;)i get to enjoy the company of my little cousins as we travel to camarines norte for pilgrimage. summer is so much fun and i really love getting more darker than usual.

the start of summer heat gave me allergic reactions that activates the bacteria inside my throat.  i ended up coughing and the asthma strike me back i was on medication for seven days but that doesnt stop me from being happy.i love the april spring and i went home to papa's glorious place in ilocos sur. i get to meet my father's family and they give me a happy home in my entire trip.

i went to baluarte and eat ice cream in the streets of vigan.

tita lina always welcomes me with her big wide arms. 

lucky to experience grapes picking and stayed at the vineyard too. 

As the sunflower blooms in the streets of diliman i spent May and April and June inside the campus doing nothing but codes and php. its hard to think sometimes but i love my stay. i get used to the metro traffic, meet with my love ones and able to make it through the university.

in each three weeks stays per month May give me another chance to visit papa's glorious place as we had our local government study tour. 

i was able to spend another night with my grandmother who is now 90 years old. it took me long five years to visit them and although my grand is old now she still remember me and lao and that what matters and we both love mcdonalds.

i was able to feed with my bare hands the fowls my uncle is raising and i love it!

and get the chance to smell tobacco too.

going home i get to meet the chan's and robinsons as she move her way to north carolina.

i get to enjoy my trip with tito ed and all LGU's department heads and it was fun being with them.

we were able to walk the streets of vigan again.

and finally got the chance to visit the farthest place in the country pagudpud up north.

May had bring so much happiness to me and my family. i was able to travel twice for free and enjoy my trip doing nothing.

and i had taste the smell of baguio and i love it the most.

with too much thanksgiving for the blessings we have received we celebrated the feast of san isidro labrador our barangay patron saint with goodies for all. ate bunso is always there for us and help us prepare all the food. 

all the awesome weekends starts in June after our quick trip to baguio for another school module our office is not that busy anymore so i made a choice that whenever i can i will enjoy my life the most and i dont intend to celebrate every little things in life someday for it's too far away and it's not even part of the week so im doing it everyday:) 

i get to enjoy ate phing's company - my new boss and kap gemma and pao! we taste baguio in different ways and we all love it. 

going back home is pretty awesome for a lot of pigeons my nephews are breeding had double its number and we really can feed them with our own hands but mom was diagnosed to have a very low sugar that time and good thing i was home then. we stayed one whole week in the hospital.

i had the chance to go and visit the cornfield my relatives major source of income.

i was able to harvest real pineapples for the very first time just like i do in hayday and farmville and its really cool.

we had our department outing too and we had a lot of fun.

we get to enjoy every little time with each other for we may never know when will be the time for us to partways or if we still have the chance to do crazy things like this

and laugh too much like this

the LGU Olympics started too and we enjoy the company of our own team.

it was fun and the olympics had given us the chance to show our hidden skills.

i belong to fire team and i love fire team!

July's heat brings me back to baguio to finish off school and its quite cold there. i love the weather.

having so near in my father's place i get to enjoy my weekend with my papa's family. the weather is too hot in ilocos that time. and for the very first time in ten years i get to see mama bing who went home from atlanta.

going back home my mom had a very low hemoglobin level so we stayed at the hospital for another six days then.i stayed long at home and hadnt had the chance to visit the office but thanks heaven they all understand me when i said i need to be with my mom. going back to the office after my long break athena welcome me and the whole mpdc team.

as what the picture say August is mikayla, the balang and the magri! its such  along time since we saw this little kid from sacramento and now she's all grown up pretty and adorable. 

and this is her family and our family too. im glad that lao and i got a family all over the world. and yah august is back to dudoi fresh from AZ we love doi very much.

we attended ate jenerine's church wedding and get to met a lot of beautiful souls. dudoi, mommy and daddy and the magri visit us at home and we love it pretty much.

and now it's september and my life has change a lot since of last year. my perspective have somewhat change. i create a lot of memories and eating vegetables is still an issue but somehow i had learned to eat pumpkin and okra. i still watch cartoon network and my COclans town hall has been upgraded to TH8. i still help doing the household chores as mom had required us. friday is home day now but we are free to do everything we wanted the whole of saturdays and half of sundays. 

things in the office are still the same and yes we really miss the two boss we have that went home to heaven that early. we still manage to be together under circumstances and yes we still trust and love each other. 

my life is always great the way i wanted it. my brother and i had maintain our respect and best relationship as best buddies and enemies in one. we change plans very often regardless of the working environment and schedules we have. were still afraid of mom and we only buy foods we feel like eating for mom said we will eat them alone and thats scary!. but most of all we share everything to everyone and that's priceless.

so much for the lessons learned but what i really learn this year is that when you are angry, be silent. and that's it. i still love all the persons i have told to be one of the best thing since peanut butter for me. i still havent change that much but somehow i have love the way i live. i have meet a lot of beautiful souls and i love that they love me too. 361 days has completely past and i am always better than alright. i pray that may i always bear the eyes that see the best in people, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad and a soul that never loses faith. thank you for always being there with me and i do hope and pray that you continue to laugh with and be with me on the next 365 days..