addyrside: April 2012

Working in a government was never my first choice. In fact i never dream of becoming one. Even though I grow up in an environment of public servants I on the other hand refrain myself from belonging. I kept telling myself I don’t wanna be like my mom and work more than the office hours. Soon after college I worked as an IT in the metropolis. From a simple call center agent to Database Management to network specialist. Far from the world I grow up with. The big salaries I get, the travel for free and making friends with other people in the corporate world. But I constantly feel there is something missing. I am not comfortable working. I told my inner me I am not being fair. To make this story short on top of my career I quit. I know it wouldn’t be fair but no one ever said that life was fair. I don’t want to spend my life doing things I’m not comfortable of doing. I had done as I was told, I had followed the rules. Yet all of a sudden both worlds were behind me and I found myself adrift. I had no idea who I was, what I wanted to do or where my future would lead. I’d always believed that because I’d followed the rules the world would breathe a path to my doorstep. But the world didn’t seem to care at all. And so I went home. Have myself enrolled to distant learning and made myself busy and productive. Six months later and i found myself inside the municipal hall leading to the planning department. from that day forward i found myself happy and that was the beginning of my public servant's life.

For some, working in the government feels like easy going. i heared a lot of that from the documentaries i used to watch. but as for what im doing inside our office it was never like that. for there are a lot of works to do and deadlines is always facing you at the downright angle.

funny it may seem but my brother used to tell me what is it with the government that i have to quit my job and forget about my future. when my salary cant even feed the three of us to a nice resto and it will take my whole month pay for a plane ride. times like this reminds me of mylife in the metro. when we can go anywhere and buy anything. but i have no regrets on whatsoever. i was just happy working here.

it has been four years and counting from that day on. and to remind me of how happy and funny my government life is i will share it with you. not to encourage you to be like me but to give you a glimpse of how it is like to be me.

You never knew its Christmas but the hotel ambiance reminds you so. I remember last Christmas mom was so mad because we decorated our home two days before simbang gabi.

Sometimes you have to look for a better subject that will guide you of the activities done because you have scrambled the pix in your hard drive and opening all of them is ...driving you mad ...you feel like a 3/4 stupid robot for you forget to label them and it was done in the same venue and same people you work with.

You have to wake up early in the morning because you have photoshot.

and more photshot....

and photoshot...

and plenty of photoshot...

until you run out of memory card...because everybody fells like having a picture with them.

and with them...

You are lucky to get that mineral water because even if the doctors told you to make precautions on water you still fond of the water they offer you to drink. and you reason out that it taste different from the water you drink at home.

And you feel cold and not feeling well but you still have to go to the office.

Your first iphone remind you of what time is it and yet your still up until the next morning.

We don’t waste our money on dresses because tee is very much ok.

instead we invest more on....slippers....

And more rubber shoeses too.

And so you miss many of your family’s get together because you have a scheduled training in the middle of nowhere and you're out of reach even on twitter.

when Its your birthday but you’re not celebrating with them.

Your mom constantly reminds you that coffee is bad but Coffee is now your favorite drink. But at least now i drink coffee at home and dont get to spend much for a cup of coffee in exchange of a damn planner .

You always bring camera with you.

working here get me to plant different trees. In the mountains....

And even on the sea.

Sometimes you bring your brother with you.

so that he will know what are you up to....

And when you feel like going home and yet you cant go home... and when you get home youre like this...

And when you look in the mirror….you will see how you’ve been aged for years. And your colors turn from brown to dark dark dark brown.

When slippers, denim and chucks are your favorite outfit and skirt is displaced. and when you get home you never know what happened to your feet and where the hell did you get scars in your arms and even on your feet. your toe nails are covered with mud and even in the tip of your pants.