on chirstmas

Until one feels the spirit of Christmas, there is no Christmas. All else is outward display-so much tinsel and decorations. For it isn't the holly, it isn't the snow. It isn't the tree not the firelight's glow. It's the warmth that comes to the hearts of men when the Christmas spirit returns again.

Christmastime was always a magical time of year for me. The beautifully decorated shopping malls, with toys everywhere you looked, always fascinated me. And the houses, with the way their lights would glow upon the glistening snow at night, always seemed to calm me. But decorating the Christmas tree and falling asleep underneath the warm glow of the lights, in awe that Santa Claus would soon be there, was the best part of it all. As a child, these things enchanted me. Sure, the presents were great, but the excitement and mystery of Christmas; I loved most of all. Believing…that’s what it was all about. Believing there really was a Santa and waking up Christmas morning, realizing he’d come, as my sleepy eyes focused on all the fancily wrapped presents before me.

To me Christmas means a time to spend with family and a time for Santa to come. It also means a time to give to others. A time to give, but also to receive.  on this post i will share to you the way we celebrate christmas as family.

Much as i love christmas so did my brother and we are crazy during christmas.

christmas is for children i know that pretty well and we always find this kid underneath our christmas tree playing balls and eating candy.

i cant count how many balls this kid had broke this christmas. he was just amaze. kiel lives near us and he used to stay and drink milk inside our house. sometime he pee on the carpet sometimes he sleep with it.

my brother used to bring his friends inside our home. and we treat them as family. 

sometime they used to help us decorate our two christmas tree.

and most of the time they visit us without any reason.

filipinos are fond of caroling and that includes our parish priest and some of the members of our religious community when they visit us and sing a lot of christmas songs.

they sing like a pro!.

so lucky that mom and dad visit us after we got their US visa before christmas. i was with them at the embassy and they take me home. although its a quick visit but at least they visit us.

mom and dad treat us family. since father jovi left for his mission we used to visit them in their place. its quite far in our place but we enjoy visiting them.

cena and kiel are brothers whom my mom and lao love so much. cena is a preschooler and kiel is just two. this two are always inside our home. and the joy of having them around almost everyday is more than winning a lotto grand prize~] i love how cena and kiel smile and kiss mom. 

I got this gift from the my second home which is our office. we may not have the grand christmas party this year since our country suffered devastation brought by raging christmas typhoons  but at least the bazaar and extravagant celebration of christmas became more frugal and meaningful. for us who used to go shopping with the use of our christmas bonuses learned to set aside our wish lists to give way to the basic needs of those who were in need of help. We used to  follow the traditional simbang gabi and we do not limit our prayers and wishes only  for ourselves but also to other people who are suffering crisis in their lives.

they're my second family in the office.

and they are my extended family too. i love all of them.

our boss gave us ham for christmas.

mom and aunt flor enjoying the christmas evening outside our office while waiting our ride home.

this are the neighborhood kids i get to play with during summer and holidays. they are all singing christmas carol and waiting for my promise christmas toys. 

our christmas this year may not be that grand compared to last year but as long as we are together no matter what trials we have to endure i believe we can always make it through.

we make sure that the three of us are together during christmas.

we may not be that rich but at least we are together. 

we wish all the families to have peace and love inside their home like we used to.

Our family used to serve excessive servings of food during Noche Buena learned to limit our cooking and share the extra ones to others instead of leaving it spoiled on the fridge.

my brother spend half of his earned money buying all the gifts we want to give our neighborhood kids. i know mom cant have small kids but we dont feel we lack one having them around.

on christmas eve all kids got their present from the three of us.

i took this shot on the eve of christmas while waiting for santa.

lao and kiel love each other very much. and they took all my present on christmas night.

i love this because this is my last pix of 2013.

i gave all this for my brother because that's all he ever wanted.

he got this from the neighborhood and all. you see its good to give and so good to receive. 

and we take all the cards and gift cards given to us and we forever treasure.

and lastly christmas is isnt about giving it is also receiving something you dont really expect since i have age and grown and have my job but my mom gave me this and i am forever grateful. 

loaded with five thousand bucks on christmas day i say merry christmas from my family to yours!

Merry christmas from my family to yours

Christmas is happier when you get to spend it with your family. No amount of money and present could ever buy the happiness I have with them. My mom and my brother are the only people I have in our home.  No matter how small our family is we make sure that we are together each Christmas! Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

after all this years and always

It’s been 30 days since you left us. Nothing had change in the office except for the fact that you’re not going to set down on your table anymore nor give us morning call and check us how are we going. All of your things and your favourite jacket are still there. We haven’t touched anything and I hope that your husband will let them be. We don’t want to remove it now. It gives us hope. It gives us strength and I think that you’re still here with us making sure of everything.

We may not have our boss today but have completed all the tasks you’ve left us to work for. Submitted all the documents the national government required us to and all our vital documents are in safety. Tito Ramon use to supervise us and even Sir Roger helped. We make sure to unplug all our gadgets and turn off the AC before we leave our office for you used to remind us that. Things in the office are getting well. And we are all functioning the way we used to. Many of our officemates told us they are missing you and they still visit in the office but they don’t stay that long, they missed you and will all start to cry and sobbed which make us sobbed too, so they prefer not to come back anymore. We just see them in the lobby. And since its Christmas tomorrow we’re not going in the office but we will all report the day after that. We just received our bonus but we haven’t much grand vacation this time. From the day you left us we haven’t stop thinking how are you there but knowing that you’re going home we just utter a little prayer everyday to guide you on your way. We offer mass for your soul. And tell our guardian angel to guide you. We are at least ok now. Still holding and helping each other to make it through the day. We don’t have much office supplies now and the internet connection is bad. We used to carry workloads at home lately and haven’t encountered the word weekend. The Grinch used to steal our planned weekend for the government had so many requirements but nothing beats coffee and gummy bears right?

It was hard to see you lying in your white metal coffin. And it was so hard to realize that it was you inside. You wore your best golden dress. You’re so pretty and you’re just heavily sleeping. I told you to wake up but you don’t move. It was adorned with white beautiful flowers. It was raining mad when we laid you to rest. The long parade of vehicles could tell how many loves you. The more we cried the more the rain poured in. We were so worried that you’re graveyard might be full of water but thanks god it was dry and clean. We cried too much. Your mother cried too much. Your husband and your children cried too much. I cried too much for your sudden lose. We were not prepared that day. I just feel a sudden change and im not at ease that I think something happened to one of my beloved. The plane to which I was boarded in has just touched the ground. I run to get out fast of the airport and look for a cab and I told the cab driver to drive that fast for I am not ok and later I heard about what happened to you from my brother I don’t believe him first for he used to make fond of me. I sleep and then I got a call from the secretary telling me you went home to heaven. We know that you’re tired fighting but you had a good fight. You are just amazing. You always give people surprise. You took me by surprise.

All of your classmates and friends bid you goodbye. They visit at your wake. A lot of people from different parts of the world visit and convey their sympathies with your family. Even tito ed’s rivals and opponents in politics were there to give respect and condolences. The way I see it, they set aside politics and they prayed for you too. Your wreath of flowers and Mass cards are over flowing so with the coffee and candies and food. It was perfect like what you wanted it to be and like you always do. You know what the AVP I created together with your daughter is the hardest thing I have ever made in my entire life. I never know that the very last AVP you will required me to do is yours. Don’t you know how much effort and eyebags me and tween exerted to finish that beautifully? Playing it in the church before your final mass makes all the people sobbed. I saw your bestfriend crying. And BTW you arrived at the church an hour before your final mass. You were never late until your last day on earth. I salute you for such discipline! 

I will always remember you as my second mom and the best boss I have ever had. Ate lala, ate phing and roxy are all thankful for having you as our boss and mentor. With you we learned to focus and had master the art of cramming and the power of magic and most of all for believing that we can. I am forever grateful for all the wonderful things you let me experience with. I wish that you will still guide us in every decisions we are about to make for the coming years and hoping that the one who will replace your post will be at least half like you. But we prefer if he is prim and proper and crazy too! There’s no one in this world could beat you as boss. You’re just perfectly perfect! And you’re such a great loss. We all plan to visit you today but it was raining mad so we waited for it to stop. Ate lala and Tito Ramon will just visit you later. As for me, Lao and Roxy…(of course were here at starbucks!) this wasn’t the very first time we visit you. We used to visit you and pray for you. The last time we did, we bought you a venti mocha frap but when we get back it’s gone. Lawrence misses you too. He used to tell me how thankful he is for all the gifts and for your generosity to the church. It’s gonna be your first Christmas in heaven today as you reach it and I hope you will have fun in there. Don’t worry about your children, they are all ok. Your house is somewhat ok. I texted Tween and Tito Ed and they invited us to come over. We can’t promise to go to your house after this since its Christmas and we got to prepare too with our family.  We miss you in the office and we miss your call. Rest well tita norms. Thank you for all the love and patience and for being a light to all of us. It’s sad to know that nobody will defend us now in the office but don’t worry we can make it through. Never in our life will we forget you. You have been part of our development. Thank you for moulding us like this. I love you…we love you! Until then. Good night!

oh christmas tree!

five years ago i don’t even worry when it’s december and we don’t have christmas tree because my sister will fix them for me but she went home to heaven and leave me with just me…(imagine that) not even a single idea how are those christmas tree came as christmas tree….from then on for the last five years my brother and i try to fix our christmas tree….every year we try to decorate it with blue balls, green balls, yellow balls and magenta balls sometimes it doesn’t have balls and all and sometimes too we change christmas tree depending on what mom instructed us to do. somehow it turned out good…sometimes it doesn’t look like christmas tree at all. how about flying helicopter in the christmas tree? but its christmas and i guess every home have their christmas tree now, mom wake me and my brother telling us to decorate our home… rushing out, cleaning and dusting all the balls i try to decorate it but the problem is… that christmas tree doesn’t like me at all!

Coding makes me sick

When I was still in college programming was that pretty easy. I used to play with codes. I sleep with it and

coding was my life back then. I love c++, perl and java. I find it cool. And then after graduation I worked with dbase. I found it confusing and so mom told me I have to go back to school to learn all of it and then the rest is history.

Seven years ago I was ok with my life, I work with computers, servers and dbase and the talking. But then things do happen for a reason I went home and work for the government and my life flip horizontally. But even so I learned to adapt it and little did I know I was growing in my own little way. To make the story short, I wasn’t exposed with all the computer languages in my whole stint in this so called government life and this is the story.

I’m in my modular training in Bicol University for five days now. I came here last Sunday bringing all the things I needed. My class usually starts at 7:30 and ended as late as 22:30 in the evening. We are staying in the hotel enough for four people near the campus and we usually walk going there. My stay in this university will finally end tomorrow night but we have to submit some of the proposed revisions online when we get back to our office. It’s the storm that hinders us and we have to get home before it strikes the ground.

During our first day we tackle more of the .php language. I was eager to finish the whole slides so that I can have my program started, excited as that. It took the instructor two hours more to finish all the slides because not all of us there are php ninjas! And so we had our program started. Starting off from the favicons creations like that to the header and the slider side, all in one setting.

At first it was easy for me but the slider image took me half day to run and my head is killing me, I got fever and my throat aches. I can’t run it and I know the codes wasn’t right. I debug and consume more time and yet nothing happened, the slider wasn’t moving at all. I was shock; do I need forever to work for it? I really can’t run it when seven years ago I used to do it and I asked myself what is wrong with me? Am I this dull? Good thing when I asked my other ninjas how are they doing they told me that slider is getting in their nerves. And so we all continue to work and long did I try to run and debug my codes. Long did I waited to run it perfectly.  After four hours of working it finally work! I was able to run it but the clock says 12:30! I told myself I need to refresh my mind I need someone to talk to. I call up tita mi and we went out. I told her about my school life and she was laughing at me the whole night.

Working on the menus and widgets was that easy. I had my html and php reviews throughout the entire night and that makes me pretty normal. Then when we get back to school in the morning the instructor told us that they are checking our work, since I am already finish I had them check mine and they told me it was good.

I work more for the codes and security features of the site. Building website requires a lot of security codes. Although ASTI will be the one responsible for the server security, still we have to work more for our page security. But knowing so makes my life easy!. Later that afternoon we help our classmates who are not so php ninjas to become a real ninja! Because it’s a group effort and we have to submit and finish all the requirements so we can all go home for if not we have to stay. We work hard to finish all the tasks they wanted for us, they are so strict and they have a compliance board to check. They have our names posted and once done they are putting check on it. Late at night when all is bone tired and half dead we all got positive results. We don’t sleep really just to finish it all. It was really tough!

I have the best classmates in the world. For me they are all beautiful. We used to help each other and most of them are boys. It’s really a cliché that computers and IT stuff are meant for boys but I prove that wrong we females too are entitled to learn those things boys do and we can be best too.

It’s getting cold here now and raining mad outside. The storm is coming. I wish to go home but it’s not safe so I have to stay here. I am missing my mom and my brother for they are constantly calling me when i told them i got sick but staying here with my crazy classmates singing and running down the hall makes it worth staying more.

Truly it was the test of skills and how far are we going for the codes in this modular life. My government life wasn’t that serious and all. As I work for the codes makes me to reminisce all of my college life, missing my friends and the old warzone and all of the mechatronics life, thus realizing it was time for me to step up a bit but on the second thought I wish to stay more until I find what I am looking for and i think i am growing. Today I realized that working together makes the life worth living, no matter how tough, no matter how mad you are to the world just control and add more patience. It’s not bad to go with the flow.

Having our task completed at the school board make us all say that’s the power of cooperation and teamwork and believing in yourself you can and that’s it but most of all as the adage goes once a programmer is always a programmer. Thank you so much Bicol University for bringing back the best in me! And oh by the way, the sick thing has gone and all! i never knew i got sick :) Gudnyt!

i miss you here....

I long to write you a letter but I know you will laugh out loud so I won’t send this to you personally

but I will let the world know.

It’s been three months since the last time I see you coming in the front door of our office. And that was long. You almost enter at the exit but suddenly you realized it’s the exit and you turn your back, then step your feet on the entrance because you were eager to get in. You were so happy that day and ask me how we have been. And you check everything on our wall posting and write down all our task to be accomplish this year. Although you used to call us and text us and say hi and hello’s still we missed your presence in the office. It’s different if you are there. We feel incomplete when you’re not around because the office can’t be an office if there aren’t any boss and all. That’s what I have learned from you. That’s why I used to ask when are you coming back. But you used to say, you don’t even know when and you just smile. Although I didn’t say more infront of you but I guess you know in my gesture how much I care about you.  

  

For the last five long years you’re the only boss I have. You invest so much for me and trusted me well. You gave me all the latest fastest trending gadgets I need in the office. You never failed to check on me every time I am in school for my modular programs in which you required me to be or when I just having fun with my classmates. You are always there for me when I need you as what you always said you are just a call away. That I think I have two best moms in the world and that makes me lucky. And I thank you for giving me such wonderful opportunity. To experience things those of my other co-workers never experienced with.  And in that long five years much that I have learned from you is that I have learned to be just like you. You taught me to be humble most of the time. You taught me to have my feet always in the ground. You taught me to give respect to where it is due. To be polite and to be kind. You are part of my development. It was you who taught me to be prim and proper and crazy! To stay positive and never lose hope. You always fix everything for me. You taught me to fight for what is right and what I believe in. You taught me well how to defend and stand on my ground. You always give me the assurance that everything is okay even if I can’t do math and write on pen and paper.
    
I miss you in the office. I miss you say things I need to know. I miss to see you set in your office table full of files and bills and all. I miss our face to face conversation and the never ending laugh when its 8 in the evening and we haven’t finish all the presentations we need the very next day and I really miss how you smile over my little wrong doings.    

You taught me really well. From the simple garbage segregation that you personally trained me everyday for the last three years until I learnt it, to use the back of the paper when printing draft and never crumpled it that I think has gone you mad up to my grammar corrections. I never saw you whinge when you see things they aren’t supposed to be and you never get mad at me when I still didn’t follow your orders to print the back of the paper when we are printing in draft. You just smile and tap my head and you never lose your temper over me when I said why should I be doing that? You never failed to say hello to me even if you’re sick and all. You may never know that in times I had my headphone with me, it’s not that I don’t want to listen to you but it’s just that I have to listen to all you’re instructions for me so that all the task you want me to accomplish will be done perfectly. That in times we don’t say a word it’s just that were busy reading and reviewing our entire task, for you are the most perfectionist boss we have learned to love and respect. You always want things to be perfect and all. In our office there are no rooms for glitch and errors.    

I treat you as my own mom and my mom knows that too. And in times like I don’t like the whole wide world you were there to comfort me. I wasn’t even afraid of tito ed because I know you will defend me to him. That’s why I seldom make mistakes and never did I fail you on everything. Because I am much afraid of you.     

Although what you said to me last week was breaking my heart and make me sobbed I want you to know that I will follow whatever you want me to do, cooperate, do the best I can and give my trust to anyone you wants me to be with. I will be forever grateful for all the things and the love you gave me.     

Smile, send us text, call our office phone, give us instructions, rephrase the paragraph, sign our accomplishments, comments to all our good and wrong doings and give us hope. That’s all we ever wanted. Three months is long and done and all our listed tasked has long been completed, we need you in the office. Please come and write on the wall our next responsibilities.     

We are all waiting for your return.  We know you can make it like you always do!  

Down South Mindanao

If it weren’t for the job i am into I wouldn’t be able to explore the beauty of Butuan City. Bounded by a connecting flight from naga city to manila here I am waiting for my next flight to Butuan City Agusan Del Norte Philippines. I am travelling together with Mayor Yu and Mayor Embot to attend the 7^th South South Academy called by RED CROSS and CARE Nederland. This NGO help our municipality a lot. From them I learned all the things with regards to disaster risk management and survival in times of disaster.

I wake up late today but I was able to catch my flight. I live far from the airport good thing we have a very resourceful and fast driver. He took us to the airport in time for our flight. Since my flight will be an hour for now we will have our lunch first before we boarded for our next flight and who would want to travel with an empty stomach. I will be in Butuan City for the next seven days and it will be long and the flight will last for two hours more. Its so nice to travel with two lovely mayors everybody seems so nice and smiling and we are always in the front row and I love the VVIP treatment but even so I do have to follow strict airport rules from our luggage down to the backpack I am carrying. Its nice to be with them most of the time. By the way mayor embot is the town mayor adjacent to our municipality and mayor yu is her very best friend.  

According to my briefing documents which I get from the organizer mayor yu will present the Calabanga’s Experience on Disaster Risk Management and Climate Change Adaptation the day after tomorrow but since we are traveling for free and all-expense paid we grab the opportunity to get there ahead of time not to stroll around but to observe since the 7^th South South will be participated by the different Asian nationalities and leaders. It will be fun and I am pretty sure joining in every session will enhance our knowledge more. And we will not get there empty handed I too and mayor yu did prepare all the things we needed for the said presentation. We practiced for two days. It is the expertise and preparedness of our municipality that we are to show case this time and not alone that it is also our chance to invite them and gain partnership as well. And since Mayor Yu is one of the DRR practitioners it is our very big chance to gain for our municipality’s accord and we need to impress them very much.

Off to lunch….

And so here I am inside the plane waiting for it to touch down the city of Butuan Agusan Del Norte Mindanao.

…….

To our surprise we travel along with the CARE Nederland Representative Celso Dulce inside the plane. Tito Oslec as I called him is a very kind, handsome, generous calabangueno. He never misses any chance to give Calabanga anything he can afford. It was him who bring to Calabanga all the blessings a local government cant afford for the partnership and collaboration from an international NGO funded by the European Commission.

We stayed at Hotel Balangay. It’s a beautiful hotel situated in the heart of Butuan. The walls and floors are made up of narra tree. It is very clean, well-polished and smells really good. They also displayed artefacts of the Philippine history way back from our forefathers in their lobby.

 The first thing I get to see is Pam! Pam is there too! Im so happy to see pam because I miss her very much! The hotel staffs take us to the hotel room. I get to change my clothes and freshen up then headed to the conference room. My day 1 ended up listening to all the success stories from the different part of Asia. I feel so tired but it all worth it. I got the chance to meet all the DRR practitioners, shared my stories, exchange emails and make more friends.

Day 2

I was thrilled to visit st. joseph’s church in the city of Butuan. I went along with maam mijares for this early trip because she will catch her flight to Malaysia. We went to the City Park and city hall too. Its so nice and I feel safe the people are all polite.

We spent all day listening to all success stories and visit every kiosk decorated by the participants from the Asian country. Good thing I was an early riser and early riser usually gets plenty of rewards. My boss will surely feel glad bringing this stuff home.

So excited on her very big day mayor yu told me to sleep early so that tomorrow I will have all the energy I needed for the success of our presentation and I obeyed her.

Day 3

Day start the big day and this is it. All I can say is that the amount of clap we received while doing it speaks of how good and successful we are during the presentation. Mayor yu did a very great job. Shes a great speaker and I bow her for that.

We get the chance to visit  mayor yu’s distant relative in the city. They are doctors here. And lucky to have meet their family. They are so kind to us.

On Day 4

Today we are going to explore the hidden beauty and all of Butuan. The convoy take us 3 hours to get to this place.