Huling araw na namin ngayon para sa pinakahuling CDBRM training ni papa EU ngayong taon sa barangay Sibobo. Hindi naman nakakapagud ang training dahil sama-sama ulit ang team. Isa ako ulit sa mga facilitator para dito at tulad ng dati sa pangalawang pagkakataon sa akin ulit nakaatang ang disaster Risk management basic concept. Sa nakikita nyong larawan talagang ganyan ang pag conduct ng CBDRM Training. Hindi advisable ang pag gamit ng multimedia dito kaya drawing at sulat ever ang nagaganap. Salamat na lang dahil mula ng magsimula ako sa dagdag na gawaing ito naisulat na sa kartolina na ang mga topics.
standing infront of the young
ito ang topic ko :)
Masasabi kong nawiwili ako sa ganitong gawain. Nakikihalubilo sa komunidad, nakikinig sa ibang mga nagdidiscus sa unahan. Natuto ako sa mga tao at sa kapwa ko facilitator at higit sa lahat na share ko yong mga natutunan ko sa training. Hindi ko naiiwasan syempre ang hindi mangulit sa likuran lalo na kong inaantok na ako. Hindi na ako si killua nyan kong walang kulitan na magaganap. Ang pinaka una kong pag facilitate ay nangyari don sa barangay bonot sta. rosa tatlong araw pakatapos kong magsanay nito lamang nobyembre . Pang tatlong coastal barangay na ito sa bayan ng calabanga kong saan sinasabing bulnerable ang buong kumonidad dahil ang mga bahay ng tao ay nakatirik malapit sa dagat.
Kalimitan sa mga komunidad na napuntahan ko na para mag facilitate sa training ay pawang lugar ng mahihirap. Ang bahay ay yari sa light materials. Maraming members sa isang pamilya. Minsan tulad ng sa Sabang mayron isang pamilya na may twelve na anak. Nakakalungkot isipin pero yon ang kulang sa akin. Naturingan akong isang taga calabanga pero hindi ko alam na may pamilya dito na ganon karami ang myembro. Naiisip ko pano ang pag kain nila ng sabay sabay sapat ba ito o kaya pano sila natutulog sa maliit na bahay? Hindi ako lumaki sa calabanga yon ang pinakadahilan kong kaya hindi bukas ang aking kamalayan sa social at economic condition ng komunidad.
ako yan....ang saya dito
Oo ngat nasa calabanga na ako ngayon nagtatrabaho at nakatira pero ni minsan ay di ko naranasan makihalubilo man lang o pumunta sa barangay. Swerte nga ako ng minsan sinama ako ni ate sindhy sa punta tarawal at don sa balatasan. Kasali nga ako sa planning department pero mas priority namin kong pano at ano ang mga plans and programs na kailangang ipatupad. Busy din kami sa meetings at trainings at pag gawa ng mga project proposals. Yon ang buhay ko. Pasok sa office…siguraduhing online ang network. Gumagana ang ecenter at may wifi sa lobby… pag ok na ang network….gawa ng proposals…kausapin ang mga dapat kausapin…paghusayin ang report na isasubmit sa mga funder…gumawa ng feasibility study… maghanap ng pwedeng maging donor at maki link sa ibat ibang national agencies, mag collate ng mga accomplishment report ng bawat departamento. Kong baga sa kalawakan kami ang center ng solar system.
si ate elsa...fire officer sya CF din katulad ko.
Nong nag aaral pa ako sa malayong lugar ni minsan hindi pumasok sa isip ko ang salitang vulnerability at risk ng isang komunidad. Yon ay dahil pawang mayayaman ang mga taong nasa paligid ko. Minsan nagka hurricane oo pero pagkagising ko sa umaga balik sa dati yong community ang nagbago lang ay yong hitsura ng mga puno at halaman na nawalan ng dahon at nabalatan tapos yong bahay naman na nasira ay inayos agad so balik sa normal at wala naman don pakialaman sa buhay at bahay ng bawat isa ang importante sa kanila ay may pera at may insurance na mag aayos at sasagot sa danyos perwesyos na dala ng isang kalamidad. Samantalang ngayon dito sa calabanga….tama nga talaga si kuya mc ng sinabi nyang wow nagbabago na ang perception ko sa buhay kaya di na ako bata. Dito kailangan pag-aralan ang lahat ng bagay. Kailangang bukas ang isip parati sa maaring mangyari. Mga bagay na di ko naman pinapakialaman tapos ngayon ay inaalam ko na. kong dati ang sinasabi ko ay e ano ngayon at wala akong paki-alam ngayon tila malaki na nga daw ang ipinagbago ko.
si kuya jude..SB member CF din :)
Nagsimula ang change of perception ko sa mga bagay bagay tungkol sa kumunidad at kalagayang panlipunan ng minsang pinakuha ako ni tita norms na kasalukuyang boss ko ng larawan sa isang community drill. Sabi ko nga non bakit may drill…kaartehan lang yata ito. Di naman ako mahilig magbasa non ng climate change pero napapanood ko na ito dati pa sa iwitness at sa the correspondents sa tv. Tapos may pinasagutan ang tawag pala sakin non ay observer. Tapos naging curios ako. So nagbasa na ako tapos nanood at nagsubaybay sa mga webisode at episode sa tv patungkol sa disaster. Tapos pumasok na ang gawad kalasag yon mas nahasa at kinaharap ko at mas naintindihan ko na ang buong konsepto. Hangang sa marami ng drills at trainings akong nadaluhan. Sa makatuwid masasabi kong malaki ang impluwensya ng drills sa pagbabago ng perception ko. Dati pakuha-kuha lang ako ng picture tapos pasagot sagot sa mga tanong na pang observer pakatapos kong kumuha ng larawan ilalagay ko na sa CD tapos lalagyan na ng label gagawa ng report isasubmit ki boss tapos kong may pag gagamitan ng larawan mag papaalam sa mga tauhan ni papa EU na gagamitin ko ito tapos akalain mong ngayon isa na kong community facilitator ay inatasan na magdiscuss ng DRM basic concept. Sabi ni lao ay wala sa katauhan pero nagagampanan ko naman sabi nila. At di lang pala yon sa pagsama-sama ko naman sa bundok kong saan naroroon ang mga mais na tanim nina kuya nakahalubilo ko rin ang mga obrero. Kadalasan isang buong pamilya o pami-pamilya ang inuupahan para magtanim ng mais. Kadalasan mga bata na nakikilaro sa psp at masayang nagpapakuha ng larawan kasama ng mga sako at pinagbalatan ng mais.
si kagawad empoy ito :)
Alam kong napakalayo ng konsepto ng disaster risk management sa information technology at robotics. Pero di mo ba naiisip na pwedeng mag connect ang dalawa? Kong ang mga elanguage ay may concept ang drm ay may concept din at malapit lang ang meaning nila try mo…. Sa DRM walang sabado at lingo sa office lahat ng araw ay lunes lang at wala ng iba.
Ay teka ka nakakahalata na ako. Mukhang marami na akong naishare….maliligo na ako dahil malelate na ako baka dumaan na ang service.
its christmas! at pag christmas maraming toys and gifts na pinapabili si mom...ilan taon ko na ding nakakasanayan ito at kinalakihan as in malaking malaki. Uso sa amin si santa claus minsan nga ilang beses syang bumabalik sa bahay namin. kong bibilangin ang mga toys na pinabili nya para samin ni lao malamang mayaman na mayaman na ang wallet ko...oy kuya sira na ang wallet ko nakasama kasi sa washing machine...sa lahat ng robots dahil robot lang naman ang hinihingi ko sa kanya si bumblebee lang ang paborito ko. kaya lang ngayong taon may pagbabagong magaganap. wala daw toys para samin ni lao ngayong pasko at ang masaklap pinapa baba na ni mama mula sa ceiling ng bahay ang mga laruang nakasako at kasama sa nakasako si bumblebee. pinasako nya ang mga bagay bagay na magpapaalala ki topher at lahat ng toys na binili ni papa para sa akin dahil mula ng namaalam sila masyado daw masakit makita ang mga bagay na may kaugnayan sa dalawa. kaya pinababa na ibibigay kasi sa school don sa malapit sa min para sa chirstmas giving daw sa charity. nalulungkot ako hindi dahil mauubos ang toys....nalulungkot ako dahil baka o tiyak na isasama ni mom si bumblebee dahil hindi na bagay sa akin at kaya ko daw bumili kahit apat na bumblebee pero mahal na mahal namin nina topher si bumblebee. para ding sa commercial ang nangyayari sabi nya may mga batang mapapasaya ng mga toys mo.
noong nasa senior high school pa ako gustong gusto ko pag ber season na dahil mahaba ang winter recess sa school matagal din ang bakasyon ni mom at ni papa sa office kaya matagal kaming magsasama -sama syempre at tuwang tuwa kami ni topher pag may ticket na pabalik ng bahay. dahil sa bahay na maraming magagandang toys at may mom at papa nararamdaman kong bata pa rin ako.
kaya ang wish ko ki santa sana ngayong pasko wag na ni mom ipasama si bumblebee sa charity box.
I don’t know where to begin…I know it’s been awhile since my last post…I ask myself if I am ready to share and let the world know what I am up to…I didn’t find the answer within me and so I am writing this now? To start with… things weren’t that good as before. The killua you once know has long gone. Here, I don’t need to race against the elevator or look for a cab to be at the office on time. I don’t need to spend thousand bucks for a plane ticket to get home. Here, I just need six pesos then I am home. There are things, major things in my life made their major transformations too. I am out of money now. But the robots are still there. I work for my own and I don’t ask for mom’s or kuya’s or ate’s help anymore. I can stand on my feet now.
I resigned to the world where I once get satisfaction that drives me to a habit of spending everything I have and everything I got…the world where I don’t know if the stars go blue or thus the moon shine or where the sun set….the world where I don’t know where the north is. Quitting it means giving up the pleasure of traveling for free…the overnight stuffs….a big salary…the big boss…quitting from the big boss is the best accomplishment I have ever had. Now I learned to accept and be contented of what the government could give me. Yes I am a certified first grade government employee now… Though I am not having that free San Francisco trip for now I am still traveling north and south for free too while state visit are at my own expense. My workplace had shift from the 30th floor and now to the ground floor….Before I can always have my coffee for free of any flavor…now I need to buy my own coffee or bring our house coffee instead. Temperature is still at high since we are using centralized air-conditioning on a 17th degree. Security features are still the same strict and still using biometrics for me to get in… ID features are cool…and the salary…well…a 200% apart from what I am used too…Before I am with the elite now I am happy being with the unfortunate…since I am no longer young but not that old my perception do change..part of our work is to educate communities about the extreme effects of a disaster…But what our government aim is to build resilient communities so people can withstand disaster impacts in their community and the capacity to sustain their livelihood… so that’s what we are up to. Shifting from the e-language to drm language wasn’t that hard at all since you all know I am used to watch tv and read daily paper. I am connected with what they call disaster risk reduction management team. We were trained to become community facilitators there are some twelve of us who do the same. In drm, the LGU of which i am connected together with the assistance from our funder the European Commission, CNDR and CARE Nederlands in which we owe so much of our accomplishments....we conduct disaster activities from preparedness to mitigation to recovery and rehab and part of it which we are enjoying the most is mangrove reforestation. Sometimes our dress gets too dirty and muddy even our feet and hair. And we love doing it.
I finally waved goodbye to papa yesterday…I know I need to let him go… its time to let him go... i know we can make it without him. if you’re in my shoe I guess you’ll do the same…I keep on coming back to his grave…saying hello, and I miss you and I love you…papa left without saying goodbye to me that day he went home to the lord. I need him to my side…if ever god would grant me a wish I want to embrace him tight. I love my papa more than my mom. When I was a kid he was the one who took care of me in the absence of mom because she is busy with work and stuff. He was the one who pick me up after school. There are days that papa will leave and won’t come home for a month or two and if that happens I always ask mom when is he coming back. mom therefore said soon to stop me from asking her when... but yesterday was different...i know he is not coming back...And now I am letting him go to where his real home is.
It has been six months since the last time i stand here in front of you grieving for my sister ate babette. The wound is still fresh and were not yet fully recovered and now here i go again today grieving as i waved my final goodbye for papa. It has been a great journey with my papa. He didnt tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it. He was just a simple man who will give everything for his family and i guess there isn’t an apt word that could describe how hardworking he was because indeed he is. I never imagined in my whole life that one day i will wake up without a father. It never came across my mind either. It was him who taught me how to pray while we were growing up he had been a mom and a father to me. Its hard to live in a world where everybody is busy but to papa we were never a burden to him that's why he quit his job and focus to business so he will have more time with us and he can take of me. That night before hes dead we were planning about his upcoming birthday celebration and we were so happy.
Maninibago kami sa umaga dahil wala ng sunny side up favorite pa naman ni mom yon. Nobody will wake my sister’s up because she will be late in the office...maybe i just drag you by the hair addy. Wala na din goodnight little ones and good morning sleepy head. Come out the sun is waiting. I will always remember papa as a loving father. Sayang di ka man lang nakaexperience how is it to have a grandchild of your own and yong wish mo just like uncle awel na makapaglaba ng inihian ng magiging mga apo mo.
When ate babette die papa said it is bad to cry that much because it is not healthy and it will look you pangit but every day that passes, every night we used to see him inside ate babette’s room praying and embracing my sister picture and indeed he was crying. I know they are together now. Happy and watching us.
I want to thank all of you for comforting us in our bereavement. For my papa's family in candon city who traveled that far just to be with us. To nanang, uncle boy, aunty elsa, mommy lita, kuya marlon, ate madel, uncle popoy, aunty vangie, kuya jr, mama bing, ate lee, kuya mc thank you so much.
And that too for my mom's family. Nanay pining, aunty floy, mama iya, uncle jhun, aunty besing, uncle Mario, uncle ely, aunty malyn, aunty pura, dada calo, mama dolly, uncle awel sa lahat ng mga pinsan ko lalo na ki ate loida, mga cousin thank you!
Sa mga inaanak ni papa. Kuya obet, ate jen, kuya miyas, ate joy, ate iyang, kuya marcial, kuya leklek, ate iya salamat po saindo. Sa lahat ng mga kapitbahay naming salamat po sainyo.
All of you have been very supportive in our family. Saying thank you isnt enough. And i dont know how to pay you back but for now thank you is the very best word.
I want to say thank you too to auntie nana, lola paring, ate francia, kuya eloy, batsoy, jao, nono for they didn’ leave us during the wake, for preparing the food and the dishes and the house of course thank you so much po saindo.
To nono and dandan thank you sa gabos. CBSUA staff thank you for letting us barrow your tables and chairs. Sa mga may ari ng mga sasakyan. Maraming salamat po.
And to all of you here present today who have been praying for us your prayers gave us strength to face this trials were facing right now. Salamat pong maray.
To father jovi who is always there for me, dudoi thank you for everything and thank you too to your mom and dad. To mayor evelyn yu, madam thank you so much. Addy will be back to office soon don’t worry i know they’re very busy on the office right now. Tito Ed and tita norms, LGU officials and employees thank you.
Maybe some of you will question why is this happening to us but i dont look for any explanation why god take them too soon. All i know is that it is gods will and it is his plan.
I want to thank papa for giving me and addy the best he could afford. For loving me and addy and topher that much. You have been a good provider and a role model to me. To tell you honestly in my 21 years i never experience a hard hand of him he didnt even hit me even once and i guess same also to addy right? He was a very kind and loving father.
Syempre matagal mawawala ang sakit dahil mas doble ngayon pero kakayanin naming dahil sabi mo nga dapat parating malakas at matatag. Mamimiss ka ng mga bata dahil ang alam nila tulog ka lang dahil birthday mo at marami ka ng candy sa ref.
Sainyo po lahat ipray nyo naman po na makayanan naming itong pagsubok na ito. And i hope that now that papa is gone everything stays the same. Iniimbitahan po naming kayo pagkatapos ng libing may tanghalian po sa bahay namin. We will be glad to see you there.
I am now ready to said goodbye to you papa. Your space in the family will have a great void but we will try to move on and be strong. Don’t worry papa we can take care of ourselves and promise to learn things you want us to learn and dont worry about mom too we will take care of her. May god take you in his hands papa. I will miss you but we are letting you go. Rest well and hava goodnight.
It will be hard from now on and it will be much painful but even so we have to make it through. Sarang hamida papa!
As this day draws to close and the sun sets down signify that my twenty-four year is over and tomorrow marks another milestone of my existence. Above all, I wish to thank god for all the blessings he had given me to what I have achieved and learned from. To mama and lao for always being there for me, the love that binds the three of us as a family give me strength to face life challenges and make me strong. I love you more. I can’t say that this year didn’t bring the luck I was hoping for, I can’t say either I was unfortunate. I was just lucky to get through with the life god wanted me to have. Whatever tomorrow may bring I only wish not just a year older, but a year better. And to all my friends who wish to join me for another 365-day journey around the sun …let’s enjoy the trip.
Oh you wanted to know my wish…..ahm sige….
If there is one wish the toothy fairy or the genie in the bottle would grant me now I wanted to have my my sister’s big big hug. Then it’s a happy happy birthday to me. I am not yearning for anything.
Thanks for all the greetings and wishes for me. My wall is full…how lucky my wall is today. I wish you guys all the best, keep safe always and I love you all….ka chow!
im going to celebrate my 25th birthday tomorrow ate but lawrence and i dont know how to celebrate it without you. do you like the roses? we bought them from the flower shop. the confetti props well that's my idea. hope you like them too. today is sunday and we havent been to church. we woke up very late but were going to visit ina this afternoon. mom and papa are okay. mom told me i should stop crying because its bad but i just cant stop my tears from falling. do you have any idea how? i know its weird and i shouldnt ask you like this but this is my avenue to lighten up. hope you understand me. im not used to it. i have my card back ive been really good lately. i told mom im quiting school and she said its ok but i promised her to make my MS soon. I just cant comply to the university lately i am too much busy with everything that i have to miss the online class. i lost another havaianas ate. i dont know how but the last time i saw the slippers was when we're celebrating your 4oth day. my things are easily gone and papa told me not to look for them anymore we can buy another one soon. i dont know if we can afford to have the wifi back papa decided to limit the internet speed to 1mbps and i cant even play the mafia this time. we're on a tight budget lately. i ask them why they told me things are not going the way they used to be so were not spending too much for nonsense this time. but im still receiving my monthly subsidy and since i dont have the powers for my savings account lately havent touched them for quite long. well tomorrow we dont have any plans yet. but today a box of pizza, a bottle of coke and spaghetti and sundae will do. with regards to the big kuya's and big ate's well they are on tight monitoring of me. i will visit you more often.
There comes a time when a human feels totally empty. His emotions are gone. His thoughts are void. All of him is wasted. Unaware of his purpose and confuse of his existence. He is like a blind who gropes through the reality’s pitch black darkness. No matter how rich he is, no matter how intelligent he is, there is this tiny hole that seems to get the most of him. No sum of money can fill this hole. The power of his god cannot do anything. The so-called friends are not there. Even the knowledge that he has is insufficient. As sad as it sounds, human life is filled with such moment.
These pauses in life are very common. It usually happens when a person thinks of everything and nothing simultaneously. The urge to focus on the matters at hand seems to fade. Everything feels numb, and then little by little, the numbness is gone. It is replaced by the indescribable sense of nothingness. These moments can happen anytime and anywhere. These very human occurrences excuse no one. From young, old, female, and those who are somewhere in the middle. Some fear it, some do not. Some thinks that a rational explanation is somewhere out there.
All throughout history humans tried sorts of stuff to fight these dilemma. Many people killed themselves trying to avoid them. Many filled their lives with creative activities. Some searched further, giving birth to arts, sciences, religions and many more. Other people just accepted that emptiness is part of intricate design of human life. Could it be that such blank situation can be avoided? Is this hole meant to be filled? If it is meant to be filled, human will fill it with what? If it is not, what do humans do?
As cycle continues, another question pops out. Human mind worries and looks for answer. Some questions are answered, some are not. Wondering goes on and on until sometime later…lost…deep…nothingness…empty.
My sister and I never have in common except that we are both girls with long hair but we never share the same shampoo and hair conditioner. Her hair is long shiny black while I am enjoying the hazelnut coloring. We’ve never been to the same school. We have different friends. Both have different kind of music. Both have different interest and dreams. When we were young she went to an exclusive all girl school while I enjoy the company of a school dominated by boys. She’s into ballet and I love kung fu. When Sunday comes she loved to wear a dress while I love those jeans! We are apart different. I am everything in which she is not. But although we were in that situation one thing is for sure we love each other very much.
I am a hardheaded always grounded while she is so free to do the things she wanted to do. She can go outside even at night while I stay on my room in front of a computer because I am not allowed to go out and I can only go when she told mom she will be watching over me. She can cook good food while I can’t even fry a chicken. My sister used to tell me I should learn to cook for yaya is not always there to fried me a chicken. She used to remind me that too much watching tv is bad for my eyes. That it is bad to spend too much in the mall. That it is bad to skip meals and bad to rely everything to yaya that I have my own two feet and two hands with one big head. My brother and I looked up on her. I wanted to be like her but I just simply cant for she is so perfect to be a big sister. And I cant afford to be one. My brother and I never ever worried on everything for she fixes everything even when it comes to school and the principal and the councilor’s office thing =)) for ate is always there. She’s like a mom to me. She never complain on my kakulitan.
It’s been twenty-eight days since my sister died of a heart attack due to complication. Despite all those medical interventions. She’s only 28 and too young and it never came to our mind that she will die that day. I thought she is going to be fine because her doctors said she is fine and we can go home one day. We have so many dreams in life. What kind of life she wanted me and Lawrence to have. Back in our childhood my sister and I share the same room. Though she don’t feel like sleeping with lights on she will sleep with it for I am too scared of the dark. She might be harsh sometimes but maybe because I am over limiting her capacity.
It’s the work and the schools that make the three of us apart these past few years. She decided that I pursue another step and Lawrence the much higher step if we wanted to be successful. She fixes everything that now I don’t know how to fix the errors that might come on my way. I am not prepared to meet that boo-boo for no one will fix them for me anymore. I am afraid.
I remember one day while watching that Sunday mass on tv there was this ad of a memorial plan and the lady told the agent she wanted to have her casket in pink. It never came to our mind each time she will make a joke she will say “pwede ba yong coffin ko ay pink?” then she will laugh too much and that is the coffin she wanted when she die. That’s the reason behind why she is in pink. She was writing and texting everything she wanted to say because she’s into ventilator and in-tubated (is that the medical term?) she’s in pain and she wanted to go home. We are advised to have her in the ICU and she wanted me to remove everything that is with her. Imagine sometimes there are twelve dextrose running through her body because she is having her peritoneal dialysis and it was like a Christmas tree with dextrose as ornamentals. It was too sad to see her in pain and I cant take it anymore that I cried too much and she said I should stop crying I don’t know why maybe she’s telling me that she is okay. I am not used to see her on that condition yes we went to the hospital but not in that shape. While we are having a conversation two nights before she died and she don’t feel like sleeping she told me she wanted to see her godmothers so Lawrence texted all of them and they did go the hospital. Of course they are star shocked. She was alright then suddenly you will see her in that state who will not fall tears even an insane man will have pity on her. Then she told me to fix her hair so I asked the nurse and we did fixed her hair. And told me that when we go home she wanted to be beautiful and I said yes you will be beautiful on that day. And we will go to the mall before we go home and she wanted to have a pink slipper then I said okay we will go to the mall before we go home and buy that slippers. My sister love havaianas more than I do. And there was her last request tell papa to eat the ice cream and we did tell papa to eat the ice cream. She never let mom and papa visit her in the hospital. She don’t want mom and papa to see her in that condition I asked her why she said they will cry and she don’t want them to break their heart so I said ok if that is what you want. I asked her what if they want to see you now. She said no and please don’t. She always tells me to pray the divine mercy chaplet and we all pray the chaplet every three hours. She wanted to have a confession so I went to the nurse station and request for a priest and luckily the hospital chaplain is mom’s friend. She died very fast. In two minutes her BP is gone. She just closed her eyes and there was a tears falling from her eyes. I never imagine she will leave me that night. I am the only one left in the hospital and I was so afraid. But the doctors all of her eight doctors did everything to have her back but maybe she is tired too that she wanted to rest and that she wanted to be with god. It was later we found out that everything that was written on her cellphone and on her notebook and everything she said while in the hospital are connected. Why does she want to see her godmothers because her godmothers will fix the house and will make her beautiful flowers when she dies. Why she want to go to the mall before we go home because we will never find a dress for her except at the mall and the pink sleepers yes she wanted to buy a new pink slippers and we bought her a pink shoes suited on her dress. She was just like sleeping and they said that if you will die of a heart attack you will be black but she never turned to black she was white and her lips still pink and that is her request to went home beautiful. It was to hard to brought her home dead.
Now I know why you want me to learn those things you push me to know because you will leave me. Why you wanted me to be more sweeter to the other big cousins we have. But I want you to know that no one will ever replace you in my heart you will always be my big ate. Thank you so much for the 24 years of taking care of me. keep safe ate. I am missing you so much don’t you know that? Goodbye for now. Just like the old times when we are going to sleep. I love you topher goodnight, sleep tight. Cyah! But topher nobody will embrace me now and who will I kiss when I say goodnight.
There comes a time when a human feels totally empty. His emotions are gone. His thoughts are void. All of him is wasted. Unaware of his purpose and confuse of his existence. He is like a blind who gropes through the reality’s pitch black darkness. No matter how rich he is, no matter how intelligent he is, there is this tiny hole that seems to get the most of him. No sum of money can fill this hole. The power of his god cannot do anything. The so-called friends are not there. Even the knowledge that he has is insufficient. As sad as it sounds, human life is filled with such moment. 
My sister and I never have in common except that we are both girls with long hair but we never share the same shampoo and hair conditioner. Her hair is long shiny black while I am enjoying the hazelnut coloring. We’ve never been to the same school. We have different friends. Both have different kind of music. Both have different interest and dreams. When we were young she went to an exclusive all girl school while I enjoy the company of a school dominated by boys. She’s into ballet and I love kung fu. When Sunday comes she loved to wear a dress while I love those jeans! We are apart different. I am everything in which she is not. But although we were in that situation one thing is for sure we love each other very much. 
